There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
I was watching this like “I am so fucking done with this website” AND THEN IT WAS STEPHEN COLBERT
Today marks two months of trying to become healthier. I wasn’t even going to take a picture because I thought my vacation had sabotaged my progress, but I was pleasantly surprised!
I feel like I just invented something but this has probably already been done a hundred times.
Stuffed Avocado for breakfast!
Because the avocado egg thing is too messy.
-Scooped out the avocado, mashed it with some shredded cheese, salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes.
-Topped the filled avos with some more cheese, and crumbled bacon.
-Baked at 375F for 20-25 minutes.
Served it with some poached eggs.10/10 will make again. Probably tomorrow. Because I’m shamelessly repetitive.
Like a big old mess, that’s me!
his stretch marks
(please only reblog with caption intact)